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PC - Discworld II Cheats

Act 1: The Rite Stuff / Act 2: Come Die With Me /Act 3: The Grim Rincewind / Act 4: Till Death Us Do Part / Epilogue: Queen Kong

Act 1: The Rite Stuff

Visit the Dining Room and speak to the Archchancellor, then go to the High Energy Facility and speak to Skazz, Mad Drongo and Ponder Stibbons, also collect the bellows, magnet and test tube, you'll break Hex in the process but don't worry (you can fix it later). In the University Gardens you should speak to the Bursar, Dean and Librarian, they are playing a game involving the three sticks that you need. Past the maze at the bottom of the garden you will meet the Imp with the steel boots. Use the magnet to pull them off. On your way back through the garden you should notice the rooster on the maze, you'll need to pick him up later.

Next head off to the Wandering Shop, here you will collect a number of odd curiosities including a stuffed flamingo, fish and some incense. While your there ask the lady about the candles on the shelf and she will tell you that she can make them if you bring her the ingredients. At the Plaza speak to Dibbler and the Milk Maid, Dibbler will give you some popcorn and a magazine on the art of making clickies. Now go to the Shades, here you will be confronted by the Death of Rats after meeting him go left to the troll's Head. In here you will meet Casanundra and the Vampire. Casanundra has a ladder which you will want, to get it you will need to go next door and see Granny Weatherwax. Collect the knife from the trough and then come back and tell him what you've found, he'll give you the ladder.

In the corner of the Troll's Head is the Vampire, he's not much use at the moment so leave him be. Instead pick up the matches on the bar and order a beer from the Bartender. Mix the beer with the corn and then take it back to the university gardens to tempt the rooster from the maze. Then back to the Shades with the Rooster. Visit Foul Olde Ron, Henry Coffin and Duckman, if you test the boots on Foul Olde Ron's smell you'll realise that he likes them (a lot). Whilst your there pick up the saw and pot besides Duckman and use the coffee to sober up the Rooster. You can then take the rooster into the Troll's Head and scare the Vampire into thinking it is morning. He will fly away.

Now go to the Cemetery. Here you can collect the pick and the teeth from the glass in the crypt, don't worry about the Suffrajester, she'll crop up later on. Return to the Shades and visit the Gimlet's Bar here you need to order a mouse burger. So sit down and pick up a menu (pick up the chilli too). Once you've got the mouse you can bite it with the Vampire's teeth and then put the blood into the test tube. Next you want to visit Mrs Cake's shop, at the very left end of the Shades, here you can pick up an ironing board, a petticoat, a pair of scissors and the arm of a dummy (acquired using the saw). Speak to Mrs Cake - you've got to get the conversation your having in the right order, first you've got to make a joke, then ask a question and then muse. To get the genie bottle you'll need to get some ectoplasm.

To get the ectoplasm you wander across town to the Foul's Guild, here you'll find you're old friend chucky. If you pick up the brick on the floor (and the hooter) you can get Chucky to jump into it. Once you've got him trott back to the University High Energy Facility and put the brick in the accelerator - the ectoplasm is yours. Take the ectoplasm back to Mrs Cake and then use the genie bottle that she gives you to attract Foul Olde Ron's smell, put the shoes inside it and you can simply cork it up when he jumps in.

Now go back to the Fool's Guild and go into the Sewers, here you need to find the grate on which the Milkmaid is standing use the bellows to shake the glitter from her dress. Now all you need are the three sticks and the candles. To get the candles you need to return to the University Gardens and visit the bee keeper, show him the magazine about making clickies and he will desert his bees in order to make a clickie about them. You are now free to collect the wax, but before you do smear the flowers with the chilli. This will make the bees sweat and make the candles dribbly which is what you need. Light the incense with the match and then put this on the bee hive, next put on your petticoat. Collect the wax and then the honey by scooping it out with the pot. Take this back to the shop keeper and she will make this into dribbly candles for you.

Now you need to visit the docks, here you should throw the stuffed fish into the sea. The wading fish will swoop down and be stunned, pick it up. Next cut down the net with the knife that you collected from the mortuary. and pick up the hammerheaded shark. Now wander off to the University gardens and exchange the hammerheaded shark for the Bursar's mallet, the flamingo for the Dean's mallet and the wading bird for the Librarian's mallet. Go back to the Archchancellor and give him the candles, vile smell, three sticks, glitter and mouse's blood. He will perform the rites.

Act 2: Come Die With Me

After the animated sequence you should go to the Shades and speak to the Dead Collector. Then go to the Morgue and speak to the Mortician. You will then need to go and collect some ice from the Pork Futures Warehouse, to do this use the pick that you got from the Cemetary. Go back to the Mortuary and pick up the mirror on the work bench put it on the bunsen burner and then get on to the slab. Put the ice and wooden arm on yourself and then call the Mortician over, he will examine you and award you with a death certificate. Speak to the Dead Collector again, he will let you on his barrow because you have the certificate.

Go to Djelibeybi and speak to the camel saleman, get a camel from him and then go to the Pyramid Architect's shop on the way to the market and collect poster on the wall by the door Leave and go into the market, speak to D'Blah, the Rock Seller and ask about the Candy Rock and Uri Djeller, he will point out the Cart Wheel on the map. Collect the stake from the stoning area and then head back to the Unseen University. Visit the gardens and collect up the croquet hoops and put the stake in the compost. The Suffragester will tie herself to it and you can pick her up. Go back to Djelibeybi and give the croquet hoops to Uri Djeller, he will bend them straight for you. Now put these with the plans to make a pyramid.

Put the Suffragester in the hole you took the stake out of and the villagers will come and stone her. After the stoning collect up the candy rock and the rope. Now go to the hill and speak to the skeletons, use the knife to cut them down. Go to the Pyramid and collect the Glue and the bandages (cut some off with the scissors). Wrap the dummy's arm in the bandages and swop it for the rotten arm at the Oasis.

Speak to the Old Man at the Cart Wheel about the Jingle, he will write you one but in return he wants to know the answer to the question why? To answer this you must first sail off to Bondie Beach and collect the boomerang and the basket off Point-Me-Own-Bone Dibbja. Them go back to the Unseen University and put the food in the Dining Hall into your new basket. Now go back to Bondie Beach and wander along to the end until you find the ant hill place the basket of food on top of the hill and then take this back to the High Energy Facility, use the honey to lure the ants into Hex. Now speak to Skass about asking Hex a question. You'll need to accelerate time by putting the Pyramid over Hex. The answer to the question is 'because'. Take this answer to the Old Man and he will give you the jingle.

Now go to Holywood, speak to the wardrobe dwarf about the horses costume, look at the rotten arm, you'll find a ring on it. Give this to the wardrobe dwarf in exchange for the Unicorns costume. Collect the weight, and the label from the post box. Stick the label to the weight and use it to knock down the wall in the docks, collect the snow storms you find there. Speak to the man controlling the Imps and ask him for one. He will let you have one but you'll have to retrieve it first. Coat your boomerang with the special paint the Imps are using to paint the seat and then throw it into the set at the Imp. The boomerang will retrieve the Imp from the picture. Collect the camera from the table and then go through to the right.

Give the troll the Candy Rock and speak to him, he will give you a key with which you can unlock the trailer door. In here you will find the Milkmaid, speak to her about appearing in your clickie. Go back outside and use the rope on the troll to free his tooth. Give the tooth to the Milkmaid and she will agree to be in your clickie. Speak to Dibbler about what you need for your movie, and give him all the things you have collected - the babe, the novelties, the jingle and the band.

Now go to the Make Up Room and watch the animated sequence, you'll need to find a picture of the Elven Queen. Speak to the Make up Lady and she'll tell you to go and speak to a witch, so off we go to see Granny Weatherwax at the Mortuary. When you get there she'll be being harassed by Casanundra. Speak to Casanundra and he'll leave. Now speak to Granny, she'll point out where to find the Elven Queen on the map. Before wandering off to this new location you'll need to go and speak to the Librarian in the Dining Hall, ask him to be part of your pantomime horse, once you've got him you can go to the new location on your map. You'll need to go through the stones and since your luggage can't go with you you'll need first to affix the hooter that you got from the Fool's Guild to the horse costume with the glue add the librarian to the suit and you have half a Unicorn costume. Put the camera with the Imp inside it into your pocket so that you can take pictures and go through the stones in the forest and then put your costume on, head up the castle and take some photos.

Now take the pictures back to the make up girl and put the leftovers (the bits she doesn't want back into the luggage for later use). Now speak to Dibbler and the filming will begin. Now you'll need to go back to Bondie Beach and use your Ironing Board, if you saw the legs off and then glue yourself to it you can surf off to a distant cave. Take some pictures of markings and then go to dead society in the shades (you'll need to use your death certificate on the door to get in). Give the pictures to the sheep in the closet and he will agree to be your stunt double for the film. Now go watch the film. Your new masterpiece flops at the box office so you'll need to spice it up a bit. To do this you'll need to take the reel off the projector and use the leftover footage of the Elven Queen. Put the reel back onto the projector and watch your film rocket to success.

Act 3: The Grim Rincewind

Go into Death's house and collect the scythe from the Umbrella stand by the door. Then go into the kitchen. Albert will tell you about your quest - you will need, a black cloak, a booming voice, a scythe and to ride the pale horse. Collect the oily rag and open the pot bellied stove door. Now go across the hall to the library, here you can pick up your life book. Go back to the hall and pull down a pair of curtains, those are the beginnings of your black cloak. Go upstairs and into the room in the right hand corner, this is Death's study. Collect the inkwell from the desk and pull the cord, get down to the kitchen quickly and Albert will not be there, collect the sugar pot from off the table. Now go back upstairs and this time go into the top corner and into Susan's bedroom, pick up the rabbit and the string. Look inside the rabbit and you'll find some pyjamas.

Now go outside to the stable, pick up the rope and then put some glue on Binky's saddle. Give Binky the sugar from the pot and then get on his back. After the animated scenewander to the right and go into the garden. Speak to Susan and then look at the toy cart, speak to Susan again. Give her your life book, she'll want an older biography before she'll give you the cart. On your way back take the fishing rod from the gnome, pour the ink into the pond and then dip the cloak in. Now collect some wax from the beehives, to do this you'll need to put the pyjamas on your head and then light the oily rag and smoke out the bees. Then grap some wax and then fill the pot with honey.

Now go back to the house, look under the doormat and pick up a key. Go to the library and at the far right you'll find an alcove use the key to open it and then add your string to your wax and light the candle, now go inside and collect the loose tablet. Leave and go back to the garden Give the tablet to Susan, take the cart and go back to the house, attach the boomerang to the rope and then throw it up to the chimney. Now climb up the rope and you now have a booming voice. Go into the house and show Albert the things you've collected. Now go outside to the field and by adding the scythe to the toy cart and reap the corn with it. After that go back to Albert and he'll tell you to go and collect a hundred souls.

Go to the pond in the garden at the far right and attach the pot of honey to the fishing rod. Go fishing in the pond and you will collect a lot of dots, take these back to Albert.

Act 4: Till Death Us Do Part

After the animated sequence go back to Bonestock and pick up a cork off of Death's hat. Now go to Djelibeybi and go into the market, before you get there a man will arrive and leave his camel besides yours. Take the canteen out of his saddlebag and put the rotten arm in there. The vultures will now follow him around and he will lead you to the Fountain of Youth. Go to the Fountain of Youth and fill the canteen with water, then block up the fountain with the cork and fill Death's hourglass up with the sand.

Epilogue: Queen Kong

Speak to Granny, look at her broom and then look at the Raven. Now speak to Granny about both the broom and the Raven. Now pick up the broom and speak to Dibbler. Buy a bladder from him, fill it with water from your canteen and then put it in your pocket. No get on your broomstick and go and defeat Queen Kong.

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